суббота, 29 июня 2013 г.

CHAPTER TWO: LIFTING WEIGHTS AS A PATH FOR PERSONAL GROWTH (Not Just Pumping Iron)

CHAPTER TWO

LIFTING WEIGHTS AS A PATH FOR PERSONAL GROWTH


The greatest potential from lifting weights lies in doing so as a path for personal growth. When one lifts from this motive some marvelous things can happen, and one can be transformed. As such, lifting becomes a "way." This idea of the path or the way deserves further explanation.

In Taoist philosophy the "way" is a central concept. Through Taoist influence, particularly in China and Japan, the "way" came to have special and deep meaning. The Japanese word for this is "do" as in aikido, judo, and kendo. It can be described as the path to enlightenment, a fine-tuning of the self in harmony with the universe. The Taoist position is that eternal truths cannot be learned through direct verbal teaching, for they cannot even be put into words. Such learning must come obliquely, as through parable, metaphor, and implication. Disciplined physical activity provides the lived experience of such metaphor and implies the eternal truth. So, as one practices his physical discipline, he is immersing himself in an activity which can lead to knowing and understanding life. This understanding or enlightenment cannot be gotten second hand through the words which about someone else's experience, but only by experiencing this truth one's self. The process is unexplainable, and intuitive. The various "do's" are well-developed systems of holistic pursuit (i.e., involve all aspects of the person: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual). They provide a disciplined exposure to experiences which serve as the metaphors for enlightenment. 

Such experiential learning requires time; it is not through brief exposure that deep understanding comes. Reflecting this, some of the techniques of the "do's" are termed "twenty year techniques," meaning that at least that long is required for their mastery. To master the entirety of a particular "do" could require much longer, even a lifetime.

In the Western world there is also attention given by some to the idea of a "path." I find that part of Don Juan's discussion with Carlos Castaneda to be of particular help in adding an important perspective on the meaning of a path. Don Juan explains that there are many paths, so each path is only one candidate among a million. The idea is to look at several available paths, and after close and deliberate examination, to choose one. If, after traversing a path for awhile you find that it is not right for you, then abandon it, and seek another path. If a path is not right for you, you must leave it. This decision can only come through a disciplined experience with the path. The decision to keep to a particular path or abandon it must be free from fear or ambition. The important question to ask is: Does this path have a heart? A path with heart makes for a joyful journey. As you follow it you are at one with it and it makes you strong. A path without heart will weaken you and make you curse your life.

Applying these ideas to lifting weights, I have come to the following conclusions:

1.) The lifting of weights, in its several forms, can be a path for enlightenment, a "way."

2.) The amount of growth one realizes from the path of lifting weights depends on the degree of discipline and the length of time one spends on the path.

3.) Lifting weights is a path particularly suited to a Western world view.

4.) Lifting weights is not a path for everyone, and is of value only for those who, after traveling it for a while, find it has "heart."

I hope that these conclusions come to have greater meaning via the material which follows in this and the succeeding chapters.

I mentioned above that the amount of growth one realizes from following the path of lifting weights depends on one's degree of discipline. Perhaps in reaction to the rigidity of Victorian morals and activities inspired by that morality, the idea of discipline has become distasteful to many. To many, discipline means forcing one's self to do something which one does not want to do. Such forcing inevitably leads to resistance, resentment, and the abandoning of the activity as soon as that seems safe. This distorted view of discipline is consistent with the "I should" motive which I discussed in Chapter 1. 

Another frequent confusion is between compulsion and discipline. Discipline, freely chosen, is what keeps one on the path. Discipline means to respect the path and one's growth enough to want to stay on it with care and attention, at times even when it is difficult. Again, it does not mean to comply compulsively, no matter what. It means to be committed to working on one's self through the pursuit of growth-oriented experiences. Discipline is consistent, then, with the motives of "I have to in order to," and "I want to." It is a hallmark of the "path of personal growth" motive.

The disciplined lifter is careful about lifting, careful about following his plans, careful about diet, careful about form in executing a lift or exercise movement. Sometimes this care means nudging oneself to go ahead and work out. It does not mean forcing! A good example of this was given by a well-known bodybuilder who stated that he never worked out when he didn't feel like it. He noted that working out when one is not in the mood means just going through the motions, simply "showing up" and lifting aloofly, and that gains are absent from such uninspired training sessions. However, he also went on to describe a few of the many techniques he used to get himself in the proper frame of mind when this lack of inspiration arose.

The value of discipline is learned through the experience of discipline. Through the disciplined following of the path of lifting weights, one can come to recognize the nature of discipline, as distinct from compulsive forcing of activity, and to truly know its value as an element of transformation. 

In the Orient, the martial arts have been the predominant physical disciplines pursued for personal growth. In India, it has been Hatha Yoga. A basic and important difference between the martial arts and Hatha Yoga is that the martial arts are designed for combat; they involve physical techniques developed for self-defense. Hatha Yoga, on the other hand, is more purely a discipline for working on one's self.

Hatha Yoga is one of many forms of Yoga, all of which are practiced as paths to enlightenment. It is the basic yoga of physical discipline, the yoga which teaches mastery of the body. Its major focus is on the practice of progressively more difficult "asanas" or postures, and the practice of breathing techniques or "pranayama." Diet and meditation are additional aspects of the system. Through Hatha Yoga one can develop the physical health and strength to support the more advanced yoga.

Hatha Yoga is among the oldest yoga practices, dating back at least to 2500 B.C. So, it has, through its long evolution, been keenly refined. And, it is this yoga which is best known and most widely practiced in the West.


I see an analogy between lifting weights, or, more specifically, bodybuilding, and Hatha Yoga. Bodybuilding is to the West what Hatha Yoga is to India. Both are systems of physical practice for the development of the self. Because of its higher degree of refinement, Hatha Yoga can be taken as a model for the disciplined physical practice of working on one's self. It is a model for the seeking of enlightenment through experience in the flesh. As such, the weightlifter can learn much from Hatha Yoga as a model for lifting weights. 

Let us look at some of the differences between Hatha Yoga and lifting weights. As mentioned above, Hatha Yoga is of ancient origin, perhaps well over 4000 years old. As a system, lifting weights is less than 100 years old. Most of the weightlifting movements used today were derived from a standard set of exercises introduced by Theodor Siebert in Germany in 1907. So, in comparison, weightlifting is an infant. It has hardly begun to realize its potential as a path for enlightenment. In this infantile stage, weightlifting is, for most lifters, simply a sport or simply meaning to get "big and strong." Very few even recognize that lifting can be a disciplined path leading to the experience of eternal truths.

Traditionally, Hatha Yoga is taught through the personal instruction of a guru. The guru is highly developed, highly evolved. Too often, in contrast, weightlifting is learned by trial and error and watching others, through a book, or from an "instructor" of dubious credentials. There is not a tradition of esteemed teachers in weightlifting, only a few good instructors, often not well-known. The majority of instructors, in my experience, are not well trained, experienced, or even very knowledgeable, let alone, wise.

In terms of the physical activities involved, there is an interesting contrast between Hatha Yoga and lifting weights. Whereas the emphasis in the former is on the extension of the muscle, to increase flexibility, in the latter the focus is on the contraction of the muscle to increase size and contractile strength. In Hatha Yoga, one stretches; in lifting weights, one contracts.

Hatha Yoga grows from a Hindu culture. The philosophy underlying jthe practice of the various yogas is on of Hinduism and Buddhism. In contrast, weightlifting is not explicitly tied to a philosophical system, religious or secular. The implicit underlying philosophy which can be uncovered if we dig a bit is one of pragmatism. Pragmatism is that no frills American philosophy of "what works, works." "If it works, it's true." If you do curls and your biceps get bigger, then curls work. This is a philosophy of practicality. To this we can add a bit of the "Protestant Ethic." There is among weightlifters that underlying belief that "hard work is good," and "hard work brings rewards." Without waxing too philosophical, we can say that the implicit philosophy underlying most lifters' weightlifting activity is one of a practical work ethic. And this is, of course, a major philosophical stance in North America and much of Europe.

Earlier in the present chapter I stated that lifting weights is a path particularly suited to a Western world view. The statement of philosophical underpinnings, above, is one reason. Lifting weights has a very practical application in a society which values hard work and accomplishment. Another factor, closely related to this, is that lifting weights is "masculine." These qualities are of service alcuce to the work ethic. And, they are another contrast with Hatha Yoga. Hatha Yoga is more in the realm of the tender, passive, soft, non-forceful, effortless, non-willful, "feminine." This contrast is valid in a very general sense. I intend no value judgement in this contrast. Neither is good or bad, in and of itself, or better or worse. In Taoist philosophy there are terms for these two realms which I have described. They are the Yang and the Yin activity. So, in terms of paths, lifting weights is more suited for one for whom a Yang path has heart. Hatha Yoga is more suited for one for whom a Yin path has heart.

Clearly, I see an analogy between Hatha Yoga and liftifting weights, or more specificallylly, bodybuilding, as a path. I believe that lifting weights is the Hatha Yoga of the West.

One of the ways that lifting weights can be instructive is by viewing the sports activity as representative of one's way of being-in--the---world. In other words, the lifting platform or the posing dais can be seen as a microcosm, reflecting how one is in her or his macrocosm or world as a whole. At times one's life seems so complex that it is difficult to gain self-perspective. This is the value of having a macrocosmic view. Through the condensation and simplificatation offered by the microcosm one can gain self--knowledge. This, of course, requires self-attention, awareness, and honesty. It requires that one observe one's self with care, concentration, and lack of defensiveness.

Let us look at some of the dimensions of self-revelation which are likely in the weightlifting microcosm. Notice your mood while working out. Are you very serious, or more playful? Easily distracted, or very focused on the exercise? Do you tend to be strict in the performance of the exercise, or do you cheat? Are you hopeful and optimistic, or pessimistic and resigned about the results? Do you give up easily asily when the lifting gets hard, or do you push through? Do you pace yourself so that you finish a workout with energy to spare, or are you at the point of collapse? Do you plan a routine ansd stick to it, or do you play each workout by ear? Do you get bored with a particular exercise or routine easily or do you stay with the same program for long periods of time? Are you experimental, trying out new routines, or do you prefer that with which you are familiar? Do you work out better alone, or in the presence of others, or with a training partner? When you look in the mirror do you look for progress to praise, or do you look for weaknesses about which to be critical? On the dais are you inflated with false confidence, or shy? On the lifting platform do you risk lifts at which you may fail, or do you open se en with a certain lift and make cautious increases, staying within the limits of fairly certain lifts?

The list of such questions is almost endless, being limited only by one's creativity and the level of honesty of one's self-reflection. The answers to these questions reveal and flesh out how one goes about the path of lifting weights. Personality is revealed in the "how" or "style" of behavior more than in the "what" or content of behavior. So, in the weightlifting microcosm one reveals his personality style by HOW he goes about lifting. Personal style tends to be fairly consistent over situations, so we can infer that how one is in the weightlifting microcosm, one is in his larger world. The point is that one's way of style of being-in-the-world is clear and easily observable in the microcosm of lifting weights.

I shall share a couple of examples from my own life. Although I have had workout partners, and from time to time invite someone to go work out with me, most of my weight training has been solo. In fact, much of my training, by choice, has been in my home gym. I have little difficulty getting myself started on a workout, and I am well self-sustained in my motivation to lift. These qualities of being self-motivated. , self-sustained, and part of the time a loner are qualities that I exhibit in other arenas of my life as well. I have come to know these qualities as characteristic of how I believe my life in general. But, it has been in the microcosm of lifting weights eights that I have had the most obvious encounter of these qualities in myself. In this microcosm I have become familiar with this personal style. In addition to this increased self-knowledge, I have at times struggled in my weightlifting microcosm with loneliness, highlighted by periods of training alone. I believe that my training alone has been of great help in my confronting my loneliness and has been an important part of my partial resolution of that painful theme in my life. This is but one example of how the weightlifting microcosm can be of value both in self-revelation and in resolution of conflicted areas in one's personality.

Another example is my low threshold for boredom. I like a lot of variety in my life, and from time  get feedback from friends that are amazed at how many things I am involved in and in how many areas I am accomplished. Again, this is clearly reflected in my weightlifting microcosm. I have done organizational/administrative work for the AAU, coached a YMCA weightlifting team, instructed bodybuilding, have given public demonstrations of Olympic lifting and the proper use weights, have judged bodybuilding and Olympic lifting contests, and have done bodybuilding, powerlifting, and Olympic lifting, competing in the last, as well as in curling contests. I learned in this microcosm that in order to keep from getting bored and quitting, I could introduce variety, variations on the weightlifting theme. I learned to keep a balanced middle ground between boredom and dilettantism. (The dilettante moves from one thing to another so quickly that he doesn't have time to go to any depth with anything, thereby missing the benefits of each thing tried.) I learned to recognize the subtle clues in myself of when it was time for me to change exercise routine or even the activity. This knowledge of keeping to a middle ground between boredom and dilettantism, and the sensitivity to my own needs has translated well into my life, as a whole.

One more example is something I learned in weightlifting competition itself. Lifting in competition has always been highly anxiety provoking for me. In every contest I have had that moment of questioning my wisdom in being there. Very early in my competitive experience I had a talk with myself, like an understanding coach or parent might do. I told myself that I was safe, there really was nothing to be afraid of, and to go ahead and do my best, and have fun. I have found that I have had the opportunity to go through this supportive pep talk before every competition. In this microcosm I discovered a process which which I have extended to all spheres of my life. Years later, in my psychotherapy training, I learned about the technique of internal dialogue for dealing with disruptive emotional states. I learned in studying Transactional Analysis about giving support and protection to one's scared "child ego state" from one's nurturing "parent ego state." (I will discuss the process of internal dialogue in detail in the second section of this book.) Once again, I made a discovery in my weightlifting microcosm which had application in the macrocosm of my life. 

The idea is that by focusing one's awareness on one's self in the arena of lifting weights, one may greatly increase self-understanding and find means for coming to terms with personal issues in one's life.

There are some interesting parallels between lifting weights, particularly bodybuilding, and humanistic or growth oriented psychotherapy. Both psychotherapy and bodybuilding are systems for bringing about change in the person. In either case a short period of time may be spent to bring about some change, or a much longer period of time for more basic and dramatic change. The aim is to bring out the person's potential, to make that potential real. As such, both focus on aspects of what in humanistic psychology is termed "self-actualization." For psychotherapy the focus is on actualizing one's psychological (emotional, mental, spiritual) potential and for bodybuilding the primary focus is on actualizing one's physical (muscular) potential.

There is a paradox in self-actualization work which can be seen in bodybuilding and psychotherapy. The paradox is that growth comes through accepting one's self, not through trying to make one's self different. That may sound strange, but bear with me . . . 



Self-Actualization


There is a paradox in self-actualization work which can be seen in bodybuilding and in psychotherapy. The paradox is that growth comes from accepting one's self, not through trying to make one's self different. That may sound strange, but bear with me.

I am who and what I am. My nature is as it is and cannot be changed. So, trying to be different from what I am is an endeavor doomed to failure. If I try to be different I will be frustrating myself, and will most likely meet with resistance to the activity itself. To accept myself is to love myself, and not to accept myself is not to love myself. Part of my nature as a human being is to evolve and grow toward my potential. Therefore, if I accept who I am, love myself as I am, and nurture myself as I am, I will become more of what it is possible for me to be.

Let me use an absurd example. Think of a baby antelope and a baby elephant. If the antelope rejects its nature and decides to develop the brute strength of an elephant, or the elephant rejects its nature and decides to grow up to be as fast and graceful as the antelope and to jump as high, both animals will live lives of abject frustration and defeat. They will also grow increasingly alienated from their genuine nature. Neither beast is more noble than the other. Both have a potential for great beauty when actualized.

In my psychotherapy practice I work with many people who are like the antelope trying to become an elephant. Their therapy task is to accept their true nature, give up their unrealistic dreams and illusions, and get about the business of developing their genuine selves.

In the arena of bodybuilding there are many antelopes trying to become antelopes, and with much less frequency elephants trying to become antelopes. Since the contrast of individual differences is not as great among men as it is across animal species such as antelopes and elephants, it is easier to deny their reality. So, many bodybuilders create an image of what they want to become based on the pictures of their idols in magazines or viewing their idols in a posing exhibition or contest. They then set out to actualize that image rather than to actualize their true potential. If it happens that their true genetic potential is as great as that of their idol, then this process will probably work fairly well. Even so, at some point they will have to come to terms with the inevitability that they will never be exactly like the image which they are trying to actualize. For the majority of bodybuilders, however, their genetic potential is less than that of the idols from which they create their ideal image.

Most bodybuilders, I believe, are engaged in an attempt at "self-image actualization." They have fallen in love with an image, rather than having a healthy love for themselves. It is only through self-acceptance which comes from genuine self love that self-actualization can be approached. So, I am identifying two related dimensions each of which can be seen as a continuum:

1.) Self-actualization and self-image actualization.

2.) Self-actualization and non-actualization of the self.

These dimensions can be used for doing some soul-searching. Where do you see yourself on each dimension? I believe strongly that the poles of self-image actualization and non-actualization of self are negative. Being near these poles means inevitable unhappiness and lack of realization of one's true capacity for living. Maximum personal growth is found neither through self-rejection nor narcissism, but through loving self-acceptance. Put simply, this means for the bodybuilder neither to be hateful and rejecting of any part of his or her anatomy, nor to strive for an ideal image that is unrealistic and beyond his potential. So, if you have not inherited the potential for big calves, accept what you have as you, and seek to develop them to their potential. Your personal growth lies in your acceptance of what is, and in your developing to your God-given limits. Your personal growth does not lie in your being the biggest or the best. As an aside, I remember overhearing Ray Mentzer say, just after being awarded the Mr. America trophy, that his father had bigger calves than he, and had never done a single calf raise in his life! Remember, there is only one Arnold, or Lou, or Sergio, or Frank, or . . . They are all different, and all beautiful. And there is only one you. And so are you.

Before leaving the psychotherapy-bodybuilding analogy, I want to cover three more things. First is the phenomenon of "growing edge." In any arena of growth we can identify and think in terms of the next step in the process, the step which takes the person beyond where he has gone. This is the growing edge, the limit which the person is working to extend. In psychotherapy the therapeutic work is at the growing edge, facilitating the person in stepping beyond the previous limit into the territory of more nearly self-actualized living. In bodybuilding or lifting the growing edge is, of course, the boundary between what one has attained physically or lifted, and the as yet not realized territory of physical realization.

There are several principles which characterize the growing edge phenomenon. Although these principles hold true for the growing edge of any realm or endeavor, I will illustrate them with an example that is easy to relate to for any veteran lifter. Let's use a limit lift as out example. Say that a particular lifter can press X pounds. His growing edge is the boundary between his personal best, X pounds, and the realm of what he is potentially capable of lifting. He will grow in his press as he gradually adds weight to his lift. I emphasize the gradual addition of weight. The "overload principle" in weightlifting is that the body overcompensates for a particular lifting stress by muscular growth. So, rather than simply becoming accustomed to a particular lift, the body grows from that lift to the point of being able to do that plus a little more. The overload principle dictates that increases in strength develop in small increments. So, our lifter will extend his growing edge by lifting X + Y pounds, where X was his previous best, and Y is a small enough increment to allow success. (I do not want to complicate this simple example by getting into some of the more advanced strategies such as partials, assisted negatives, cheating exercises, volume training, etc.) If our lifter does not push his growing edge by overloading his muscles, his lift will not increase. In this case he is working too far behind his growing edge.     

Very early in my lifting career, I read a research article in Science Digest which claimed that maximum strength increase in a lift would result from warming up each day and then doing one rep with one's current maximum. I experimented with my Olympic press and indeed showed very nice progress for a week. After seven days my steady progress stopped, and I felt very bored with this regimen. Applying this to our lifter, it would be that he warm up and then do a max press each day. He would press X or X+ every workout. Although this may work for a very short period of time to stimulate a growth spurt, or to get over a sticking point in one's growing edge, it does not work as a regular routine. Too much time spent at one's growing edge on a lift results in arrest of progress and staleness. There is a stagnation. Physiologically there is not sufficient time for the body to adapt and grow in response to such frequent overload, and psychologically there is not enough recovery time to allow for such frequent all out efforts.

THE GROWING EDGE IS A BOUNDARY TO BE PLAYED WITH, with a rhythm of pushing it, then backing off to that 80-90% range. If forced, by trying to take too large a step there may well be a backlash so that previous gains are lost. The growing edge may recede rather than progress. If the lifter in our example tries to make too large a jump in his poundage, or tries too frequently, he will fail at the lift, at least. Worse, he may injure himself. So, if he tries X + Y + pounds, rather than X + Y, he may tear a muscle, injure a rotator cuff, or incur some other injury. I remember at a Southeastern United States Open bench press contest being struck with how many surgically scarred shoulders I saw. These telltale scars, marks of the surgeon, were evidence of attempts to force the growing edge. The setbacks from injury may be slight, or great. Several years ago I tore my left rotator cuff bench pressing. My choice was surgery or a long healing period. I opted for the latter and had to give up benching completely for over a year. That was a dramatic recession of my growing edge in the bench!

Again, the growing edge is a boundary to be played with. The growing edge does not progress constantly, but also regresses as it evolves. In other word, evolves by going two steps forward and one back, two forward, one back. So, progress at the growing edge is not linear. If the lifter in our example were to make a graph of his press, with maximum lift on the vertical axis and time on the horizontal axis, the growth line would look like an inverted saw. Imagine a carpenter's handsaw turned blade up with the handle end on your right. The overall trend is upward. But, within any short segment along the blade there are ups and downs. This is the nature of the growing edge. Our lifter, on successive maximum lift days, may press X, X+5 lb., X+7.5 lb., X+5 lb., X+10 lb., etc. The magnitude of the increases will probably not be regular, but there will be a mix of progressions and regressions. These regressions result from the simple fact that our lifter can not always be at his best. There are too many factors which must all be optimal for being at his best -- sleep, nutrition, mental stress, freedom from pain or injury, level of enthusiasm, life responsibilities, and so forth.

An understanding of the fact that progress at the growing edge is not linear can save a lifter a great deal of frustration and discouragement. I see a failure to appreciate this fact in many training articles. They sometimes present the totally unrealistic goal of adding weight or repetitions at every single workout. This is a setup for failure.

The world of weights is an ideal microcosm for exploring the growing edge phenomenon. Here, one can experience the phenomenon with all of its sub-phenomena, and learn about one's way of relating to these. Since it applies to all areas of growth one can learn a great deal about how one relates to the issue of growth, regardless of what the content of that growth is. Now, let's summarize the major principles of the growing edge phenomenon:

1.) The growing edge is at the boundary between that which is actual (accomplished) and that which is potential (not yet accomplished).

2.) Growth occurs by extending the edge gradually into the range of the potential or possible.

3.) Working too far behind the growing edge results in a lack of growth.

4.) Spending too much time working at the growing edge without respite results in stagnation (arrest of progress).

5.) Forcing beyond the growing edge (taking too large increments) results in a backlash (loss of previous growth or injury).

6.) Progress at the growing edge is non-linear (the "inverted saw").



Desensitization, Fear, and Fear of Pain

Another analogy between lifting weights and psychotherapy which I want to share involves a particular therapeutic technique known as desensitization. Desensitization is frequently used in the treatment of phobias.  Although there are variations in the method, in its basic form the patient is brought closer and closer to the feared object or situation, getting comfortable with each step before taking the next. By starting far enough away from the feared object or situation and moving toward it is small enough increments, the phobic person is eventually able to come in contact with that object or situation without ever becoming anxious. In the way the person is "de-sensitized." 
Here is an example. Let us say we have a man who is acrophobic. A therapist might desensitize this man by taking him to a stadium with open bleachers. He would have the man take as many steps up the bleachers as possible without feeling anxiety. That could mean just looking at the bleachers, or it could mean taking several steps up. The man would go slowly, looking up and down after taking each step, and repeating this same procedure until absolutely comfortable. Then he would take one more step up, and so on, until at some time he could go all the way to the top, look down, and remain relatively comfortable. Depending on the patient's goals, he and the therapist could extend this procedure to other situations involving heights -- open hotel balconies, glass elevators, mountain outlooks, and so forth. This desensitization procedure could take a few days, a few weeks, or many months, depending on their rate of work, the severity of the phobia, and the patient's ultimate goal. The principles of the growing edge phenomena, of course, are applicable here.
There is a clear analogy between desensitization and lifting weights. The analogy becomes clearer when we use the phrase "progressive resistance exercise." In both cases there is a goal, and the method is to "sneak up on it" gradually enough that one succeeds with each progressive step. In classic analogy form:
Desensitization: Phobia
Progressive Resistance Exercise: Weightlifting Goal
Whether it is one more step up the bleachers or five more pounds on the bar, the principle is the same.

The final analogy between lifting weights and psychotherapy which I want to draw concerns pain and the fear of pain. Psychological growth often involves emotional pain. It involves the sometimes painful process of acknowledging what one would rather avoid, and struggling with that until one reaches some degree of resolution. It is that willingness to confront and to sustain that confrontation which allows for the resolution and personal growth. Many times people avoid the confrontation out of fear of attendant pain, and thereby rob themselves of the opportunity for growth. So each time one bumps up against an issue which defines his growing edge, there is a choice to be made. The person can either stay comfortable by avoiding or can engage in a growthful way, enduring the pain. The decision is between the "growth choice" and the "fear choice." So, it is the fear of emotional pain, or "pain phobia" which is the enemy of growth.

Turning to lifting, the issue is similar. The popular phrase is, "No pain, No gain." Any veteran of the weight sports is familiar with physical pain -- the burning deep in the belly of a muscle during a hard set, the aching of a well-worked muscle hours or even days later, or the stress of getting that last inch of a deadlift up. These are the growth pains with which any serious lifter must come to terms. Any lifter who shies away from such pain is going to rob himself of most of the growth that is possible. How many would-be lifters have gotten scared of the pain, or out of an intolerance for discomfort have given up the game? I also wonder how many lifter reduce their workouts to a mere act of going through the motions without benefiting in gains because of holding themselves back from the pain zone. Again, as in psychotherapy, the pain phobia is the enemy of growth. Those who maximize their growth potential, whether in the realm of psychotherapy or the realm of lifting sports, are those who are committed enough to growth-oriented experiencing that they are willing to endure a reasonable degree of pain. They are free from the pain phobia. (I will discuss pain further in a later chapter.)

Another area of personal growth for which the weightlifting path is well suited is that of body awareness. Both the activity of lifting and the results of lifting are sources of information about one's embodied self. So, by reflecting on one's experience in lifting and by carefully observing the immediate and later results of one's lifting, much can be learned. By increasing one's body awareness, one becomes more informed and attuned, thus opposing the forces which push toward body alienation.

Body awareness is served through three sources of information. First is internal sensation. Second is touching one's body. Third is seeing one's body. Let's examine each of these in turn.

Perhaps the first glint of enhanced body awareness experienced by the beginning lifter comes from the internal sensations while lifting. As one performs a new lift or exercise the internal sensations inform as to what body parts and sub parts are called into action. So one learns from feeling the pull and and mechanical stress what muscles produce what movements. This is not the learning of the Latin names for muscles depicted by drawings of figures denuded of skin, but an experiential lesson in personal gross anatomy and biomechanics. Next time you lift, attend to the internal sensations. Feel what is taking place inside as, for example, you curl a weight. As you concentrate on those sensations you may discover what part of your biceps strains at the beginning, where the strain shifts throughout the range of motion of the exercise, and where the origin and insertion of your biceps are. Continued close observation may reveal the location of the muscles which assist the prime mover biceps. And even more subtle is the message of the stabilizing muscles which hold one's body in position such that the prime mover and its synergists are able to enact the curl.

If this stress sensation is a whisper to be listened for, the burning sensation in the muscle is a shout which cannot erupt without notice. So, as one lifts, the burn is like a swelling voice from the muscle demanding credit for doing the work. As on curls, the increasing burn leaves no mistake as to what muscle is the prime mover. The burning biceps demands attention as the main activator in the curl. In the case of some exercises the voice of stress in the muscles is difficult to localize with precision. It is in these cases that the undeniable shout of the burn is particularly important for one's growth in awareness.

A third internal sensation which informs the lifter is the muscle soreness which develops several hours after the workout. Whereas the sensations of muscle stress and muscle burn are immediately available to the lifter as he lifts, the sensation of soreness is delayed, arriving some considerable time after the lifting is over. Some of its information is redundant. For example, the sore biceps a day or two after doing curls only calls attention again to the fact that the biceps were a prime movers. This fact would already have been apparent from the burning during the execution of the curls, if not from the biceps stress as well.

But, sometimes there is new information in the delayed muscle soreness. With some exercises the stress seems to diffuse, involving so many muscles, that there is no easily identifiable prime mover. And, sometimes an exercise or lift does not produce a burn. In these cases, it is the delayed soreness which is most informative. I offer an example from when I first used chin-ups as an exercise. When I performed the chinning movement I would feel the stress in my biceps, primarily. If I did enough repetitions, I would get a strong burn in my biceps. But, to my surprise, the soreness the next day was in my lats! The delayed soreness gave me information about myself which wasn't offered through the more immediate feedback of stress and muscle burn.

I have come to anticipate muscle soreness with appreciation and excitement. The feedback which soreness gives me tells me two things. First, it tells me what muscles I worked hard, and second, it tells me that I was working at my growing edge. Both of these revelations are of value, and are used by top lifters. For instance, I remember hearing Bill Pearl say in a seminar that "Something must hurt all the time, if you are a bodybuilder." It is this soreness that gives evidence of working at the growing edge.

Muscle soreness is a self communication, a way of giving one's self information. From this feedback I have learned what muscles are involved in a particular exercise, as in my example, above. When I hear or read of an exercise which is new to me and want to try it, I use my consequent soreness as a major source of information in my evaluation of the exercise. So if I try a new triceps exercise, but develop soreness repeatedly in my shoulders, I reject that exercise (as a triceps exercise).

Muscle soreness, if attended to, can be an excellent teacher of one's own anatomy. Many times I had looked at anatomy charts and seen the location of the soleus. But translating such a drawing to my body was difficult, and my soleus remained a vague abstraction located underneath my gastocnemius. One day I worked out in a gym which had a seated calf machine. Fascinated with the novelty of this new toy, I did set after heavy set. The next day I was soleus muscles more than anything else. It was as if my embodiment were in my soleus muscles. Out of vague background, my soleus muscles emerged as a persistent figure in my internal perception. I now know exactly where they are and what their function is.

If muscle stress is the whisper of the body's inner message, and muscle burn is the sudden shout, muscle soreness is the delayed, but persistent talk. These three voices from within are valuable informants in the quest for expanded body awareness.

A second source of information about one's body and the effects of lifting is touch. One can touch one's self after an exercise and feel how turgid the affected muscles are. Touching in this way reveals the degree of pump as reflected both in size and hardness. Though more subtle to the touch, one can also feel a heated area after an exercise. Again, this "hot spot" informs the lifter as to what body part has been worked most. Just as the burn is experienced internally, the sensation of heat can be felt when the skin surface is touched immediately after the exercise.

I mentioned earlier that there are three sources which  can serve to enhance body awareness. The third is seeing. For many people there is a taboo against looking carefully and really seeing. For them the implicit rule "glance, but don't see." If one is to use seeing as a path to body awareness and an escape from body alienation this taboo must be overcome. There are at least three worthwhile things to look for. One is the change in skin color following an exercise. I enjoy standing close to a mirror and looking at my shoulders and upper arms following a shoulder or upper arm exercise. I look for the bluish net-like pattern which has spread over some portion of my shoulders and upper arms. I know this to be an indication of engorgement; my veins (which are closer to the surface than arteries) and venioles are full of deoxygenated (bluish) blood.

The lifter can also look at himself in the mirror to see his pump. This is the primary purpose of the mirrors lining the walls of a bodybuilding gym. The mirrors are there for looking at one's self, to see the pump that develops during the course of a workout. By carefully observing the pump, one can learn what exercises, repetitions, and sets are optimal for its development.

The mirror is useful in observing one's self over time, as well. This time spent looking carefully at one's self is a way of getting and staying acquainted with one's body. This intimate knowing counteracts ignorance of one's self, if not self-alienation.

In the succeeding chapters of this section I will explore some specific issues which arise in the course of traversing the path of lifting weights. For now, let us consider lifting weights as a path of enlightenment though experience in the flesh. Let us see it as a path to harmony, clarity, and calm. This can be realized as one lifts with an attitude of self-respect, curiosity, and exquisite awareness.

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