Exercises in Extremity (by Chaos and Pain)

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Thus, I present to you "Exercises in Extremity".

I realize that this still doesn't give some of you the type of security you want in a workout, and to that, I say tough shit. My entire training philosophy is based upon the idea that people should do what works first and foremost, and then what they enjoy doing. That's right, what WORKS, first and foremost, and then what you enjoy- so stop fucking doing dumbbell flies. They're fucking worthless, and they irritate the living fucking shit out of me to see people doing them so they can get ripped pecs. Stop doing them; they're fucking stupid.

You're going to pick your workout, then pick it's attributes, and then fucking annihilate it. The next day, you'll do the same thing, only picking a different block. The next day, you pick a different block from day 2 (even if it's the same as day 1, though I recommend picking a different permutation in exercise and reps). And so on, and so on.

You're confused. I can see the stupid look on your face through your computer. Thus, I shall give examples.

We'll pretend that I'm a deadlift fanatic. I love to pull. It's awesome, and I want to bring up my pull even higher. As such, I'm going to pick a pull day to start (that's a B block).

Day 1

Block B-2 (and since I love triples, I'll do 10x3)

Deadlift 10x3

Pushdowns 10x3

Thereafter, I do some neck and ab work, because I feel like it.

Day 2- my legs are tired and my traps are thrashed, so I decide to hit a light day

Block D-1 (giant set)

Dips

Pullup

Ab Wheel

Day 3- refreshed, I decide to hit shoulders hard as fuck, so I do

Block C- Heavy Alternate

Overhead Lockouts 15x1

Barbell cheat curls 10x3

Because I chose to do singles, but didn't want to do singles on the curls, I'll superset for the first 10 sets, then just do OH presses for the final 5 sets. Afterward, I do some calf raises and forearm work, since I know I'm gonna squat tomorrow.

Day 4

Block A-1

Front Squat 15x1

Close Grip Bench Press 15x1

When done, I'm beat and starving, so I head home and eat my face off.

Day 5- Refreshed from a 3 hour cheat window, I want to pull again. Thus, I choose:

Block B-1

High Pull 12x2
Skullcrusher / Super Skull
After I finish that, I've still got gas in the tank, so I hit some stone loading for a while, and then go home and crash out.

... and so on, and so on.

Want to know when to take a day off? When your body tells you to. No one's exactly like another person, and most cookie-cutter routines bear the built-in assumption that you suck as a human being, thus treating you with kid gloves and insuring slight but steady gains. That's not what I'm about. I'm going to assume, against my better instincts, that you're more like me than you are like every leg-deficient, fucking asshole I've ever seen in a commercial gym. As such, use cramping or horrifyingly pronounced fatigue as a method for determining when you need time off. Otherwise, train away. 

To forestall these symptoms, I recommend the following: sleep, ice, heat, and supplementation. "Ice reduces traumatically induced inflammation and reduces the collagen breakdown that can occur on joint surfaces with heavy training. So literally every trainee should consider ice application to the affected joints after training. Couple that with some high rep/low intensity exercise and you've got a great joint saving prescription." (1) As I stated in my previous blog, I'm a fan of the application of heat to warm up, and I'm planning on trying a hot tub tonight to see if and how that helps. The Russians were also massive fans of heat/ice baths, so there must be something to that. Otherwise, I recommend a ton of water and a good multi, in addition to protein supplementation to stave off overuse issues.

For the initiated:
Explanations of BTN press (behind the neck press), here.
Unilateral snatch, here.
Unilateral Clean and press, here. (That's Edward Aston's explanation of it)

Lastly, and explanation of the Super Bear, which I'm sure I've detailed before, and Super Skulls:

Super Bear- Just like the Bear, only with Overhead Squats at the top of each press. Thus, clean, front squat, press, front squat, overhead squat, back squat, press, overhead squat, front squat, clean back to the floor. THIS SUCKS.

Super Skull- It's a skullcrusher with a weight you can do for a decent number of reps. Descend in a four count, then pulse it at the bottom (1/4 reps) for 3 reps, and blast it explosively back to the top.

Finally, if you want to add in extra daily sessions, I recommend adding in light work on exercises you do not plan on doing the following day, just in case you get carried away.


This isn't fucking brain surgery. It's weightlifting. Get your asses to the gym and make it fucking happen."

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