One last point needs to be made to clarify what communication is before identifying its major elements and that is the myths about human communication, the things many people believe that simply aren’t true. Which of the following statements do you believe are true, and which do you believe are false?
_____ 1. Good communicators are born, not made.
_____ 2. The more a couple communicates, the better their relationship will be.
_____ 3. When two people are in a close relationship for a long period of time, one person should not have to communicate his or her needs and wants; the other person should know what these are.
_____ 4. Complete openness should be the goal of any meaningful interpersonal relationship.
_____ 5. Interpersonal or group conflict is a reliable sign that the relationship or group is in trouble.
_____ 6. Like good communicators, leaders are born, not made.
_____ 7. Fear of speaking in public is detrimental and must be eliminated.
As you may have figured out, all seven statements are generally false. As you read this text, you’ll discover not only why these beliefs are false but also the trouble you can get into when you assume they’re true. Briefly, here are some of the reasons why each of the statements is generally false:
1. Effective communication is a learned skill; although some people are born brighter or more extroverted than others, all can improve their abilities and become more effective communicators.
2. If you practice bad communication habits, you’re more likely to grow less effective than to become more effective; consequently, it’s important to learn and follow the principles of effectiveness.
3. This assumption is at the heart of many interpersonal difficulties: People aren’t mind readers, and to assume that they are merely sets up barriers to open and honest communication (see Chapters 8 and 9).
4. Although you may feel ethically obligated to be totally honest, this is generally not an effective strategy. In fact, “complete” anything is probably a bad idea.
5. Interpersonal conflict does not have to involve a winner and a loser; both people can win, as demonstrated in Chapter 12.
6. Leadership, like communication and listening, is a learned skill that you’ll develop as you learn the principles of human communication in general and of group leadership in particular (Chapter 11).
7. Most speakers are nervous; managing, not eliminating, the fear will enable you to become effective regardless of your current level of fear (Chapter 14).
Consider how these beliefs about communication influence the way you communicate. Then, as you read this book and participate in class discussions and activities, reexamine your beliefs about communication and consider how new beliefs would influence the way you communicate. The theories and research discussed in this text will help you reconsider your own beliefs about communication, and the skill activities and experiences will help you practice new ways of communicating.
_____ 1. Good communicators are born, not made.
_____ 2. The more a couple communicates, the better their relationship will be.
_____ 3. When two people are in a close relationship for a long period of time, one person should not have to communicate his or her needs and wants; the other person should know what these are.
_____ 4. Complete openness should be the goal of any meaningful interpersonal relationship.
_____ 5. Interpersonal or group conflict is a reliable sign that the relationship or group is in trouble.
_____ 6. Like good communicators, leaders are born, not made.
_____ 7. Fear of speaking in public is detrimental and must be eliminated.
As you may have figured out, all seven statements are generally false. As you read this text, you’ll discover not only why these beliefs are false but also the trouble you can get into when you assume they’re true. Briefly, here are some of the reasons why each of the statements is generally false:
1. Effective communication is a learned skill; although some people are born brighter or more extroverted than others, all can improve their abilities and become more effective communicators.
2. If you practice bad communication habits, you’re more likely to grow less effective than to become more effective; consequently, it’s important to learn and follow the principles of effectiveness.
3. This assumption is at the heart of many interpersonal difficulties: People aren’t mind readers, and to assume that they are merely sets up barriers to open and honest communication (see Chapters 8 and 9).
4. Although you may feel ethically obligated to be totally honest, this is generally not an effective strategy. In fact, “complete” anything is probably a bad idea.
5. Interpersonal conflict does not have to involve a winner and a loser; both people can win, as demonstrated in Chapter 12.
6. Leadership, like communication and listening, is a learned skill that you’ll develop as you learn the principles of human communication in general and of group leadership in particular (Chapter 11).
7. Most speakers are nervous; managing, not eliminating, the fear will enable you to become effective regardless of your current level of fear (Chapter 14).
Consider how these beliefs about communication influence the way you communicate. Then, as you read this book and participate in class discussions and activities, reexamine your beliefs about communication and consider how new beliefs would influence the way you communicate. The theories and research discussed in this text will help you reconsider your own beliefs about communication, and the skill activities and experiences will help you practice new ways of communicating.
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